“Let’s be irrational” said Egyptian sage

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Poisoned chalice

 

I went near the lady and she gave me one, saying that if i didn’t take any i would turn into a frog. To that i answered i was already called Froggy. “Because you’re French?” she said. “No, because i’m green” i replied. After this deep conversation she went away while i ate the awful stuff she had given to me. I was feeling ok until i tried to fly off. Turns out that bitch fooled me. I started melting to the ground, spreading myself like a soft piece of shit. My vision got awkward when my eyes split and ran down on my puddle. One eye caught sight of the woman grinning from far away. It was too late to do anything though… Anyway trust me, as soon as i look like a human being again, i’ll get my own back on her!

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Walking in circle in the desert

 

Today’s the day! I’ve been waiting for too long… I took my fridge and mattress in my backpack, put my slippers on and went out. The sun light hit my face and i could only see snails running in a huge white spiral. I quickly followed the winner of the race, yet i was too slow and lost them all. After some time walking in the desert i gave a lift to a hitch-hiker. He told me the story of a woman who buried herself to the head as her best wish was to get tanned, but only her face. I nodded…what could i answer? We were walking and talking in circle, not because we wanted to but because we couldn’t find the North. The sun set down so we chose to camp for the night. I spread the mattress out and opened the fridge to grab some food. My friend was so thirsty that he started licking ice inside the fridge. Obviously his tongue got stuck…which was a relief for me as he was too much talkative. The next day i found the island i’ve been looking for all my life… England! …no, just kidding.

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ToothbruSh adVentures

Today I removed my toothbrush bristles. That’s the best idea I got to stop my whole family to use it. Once I found my toothbrush in a glass conversing with my grand mother’s dentures. Another day I caught my brother forcing it to clean off dirt from his new snickers. My mother regularly swaps hers with mine when hers dies and my father takes advantage of its kindness each time he accidentally drops his wedding ring in the washbowl siphon. Now my toothbrush is safe and all mine.

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Random Rabbit and Pink Panther

Today i’m angry and sad. The white rabbit that was secretly eating bite by bite my Pink Panther poster (I guess it was jealous: a random albinos bunny compared to the famous elegant Pink Panther…), so that ugly and bothering rabbit of mine left without noticing. It’s been 5 months since we haven’t seen each other and it sometimes visits in my psychedelic dreams. In the last one, Bamby (its name’s Bamby) is having dinner with two friends i’ve been sleeping with, Bob and boB (or is it boB AND Bob? Did i say i slept with them? By the way i’m not sure who these guys are really) Confusing…Anyway, they left already…who left again? God! BACK TO THE STORY! So i was in that huge supermarket, trying some nail polish, which happens regularly (or drying my hair with a hairdryer). Anyway, i was looking for some cheap flight to Moscow Beach when Bamby appeared on a sudden. It then said something like « Eat me, eat me so i’ll be free from this ecCentriC dream of yours, let me freeeeeeeeeee! » Since i wasn’t there anymore i couldn’t help, all the more that i didn’t hear the beginning of its laments. Panthers are really weird sometimes… more when pink.

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